Starry-Eyed Surprise

(This post originally appeared on my Fuller blog: http://shar.es/b54vE.)

Last night back in my Fuller housing complex, it was a pretty chilly night accompanied with a thick fog that rested over Los Angeles.  I was having trouble going to sleep, so I decided to sit down and look up to the sky and check out the stars. There’s only two problems with this.

1.       It’s LA.

2.       It’s a foggy night in LA.

Okay, so it doesn’t look like I’m going to have this romantic night with myself as I star gaze. But, I decided to look up to the sky anyway. I got distracted and started looking the trees above me. They were pretty to look at, but that presented another problem.

Trees ≠ stars.

Things are going great so far. But I was reminded of a trip I took a few months ago with some friends from my clinical psychology cohort and an MFT student (also a friend!). One night, we stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon and looked at the sky. I’m telling you, it made me think of God at creation like a little girl in pig tails armed with black construction paper, a glue stick, and a gigantic bag of glitter. God in his capricious creativity threw a bunch of glitter in the sky because God thought it was pretty and liked shiny things. I couldn’t agree more, great Creator of the Universe.

I missed those stars last night. But I knew I’d never see those stars unless I kept looking up. I wouldn’t see them if I stared at the trees. But you wanna know what was the most frustrating part? No matter how hard I squinted, no matter how high I jumped, no matter how badly I wanted to break into the roof access of nearby buildings after midnight, none of that would have helped me see those stars.

Some nights we see the stars. Other nights we don’t.

Some nights we look up and see the stars. Other times we can try as hard as we want to and we still won’t.

But I’m still counting for at least a star or two to break through the sheath of the LA sky. And when those stars are ready to shine again, my eyes will be waiting and I’ll greet them with a short smile. Good to see you again, stars. I knew you’d be back.

Ants on a Kitchen Counter

So it's been a while since I've posted anything. There's still a few more classes from Prayer Through the Ages, which I'm hoping to post soon. I got swamped on research papers at the end of the summer quarter at Fuller. Now we've started the fall quarter without much of a breather. I'm hoping to get those recordings up soon.

But in the meantime, I'd like to share a reflection I wrote about an otherwise insipid event in my life regarding an ant and a piece of food. I wrote this for my Systematic Theology I class, and I hope that it can be at least some fun reading for you.

I was cleaning my kitchen yesterday and found that there was an ant surrounding a morsel of food. For one reason or another, I hesitated to kill this ant as I usually would for intruding my cooking space. But instead I watched as this ant attempted to clamp its pincers into the food and drag it away. From my vantage point, this appeared as a feeble endeavor as the morsel was significantly larger than the ant itself but amused by the effort, I continued spectating.

Sure enough, the ant grasped the morsel and dragged the food. At times it would lose its grip, drop the food, and then attempt to drag the morsel once more. I found myself converting from a potential insect killer to an encouraging insect supporter. The cycle of dropping the food and grasping it again continued for some time. Eventually, I had to withdraw from my kitchen and retreat to class. Though I don’t know what happened to the ant and the morsel, I do know I saw neither of them when I returned.

This otherwise normal occurrence in kitchens throughout the world left me with a strange notion: could this be how those in the cosmos view my life? Are there forces that would rather squash my attempts marking them as feeble trials not worth the effort, perhaps irritated by my existence? Are there forces that cheer my cause as they champion my small efforts, perhaps even entertained by them? Surely my life cannot be as grand as I make it out to be.

In my own life, I validate my efforts as important: earning a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, researching with colleagues and scholars, worship leading at a church, even cleaning my apartment. But what if all that I am doing is equitable to a morsel of leftover food on a kitchen counter? Perhaps it would be better if a large hand from the cosmos were to squash my efforts and end the charade that my existence and efforts mean much of anything.

But what if instead there is a compassionate hand hovering over my culture and context on a kitchen counter? What if this hand is watching my every move, encouraging me to pick up the morsel? What if, even though I drop the morsel, the hand doesn’t give up on me and watches me attempt once more? What if my efforts bring pleasure to those powers just by existing and that my utility is not what gives me worth, but my action in existence?

In that moment I shared with the ant, in some sense of the word, I loved that ant. My desire was for its success and to see it take the morsel it desired. Then it dawned upon me—I didn’t create the ant and I still loved it. How much more would the creator of the ant be invested in the ant’s well being and success?

Though I shared this moment with the ant, it was as if God was sharing a moment with me. God watches my efforts. God loves me as I make efforts. God is pleased, and even entertained by my efforts; not in a way that is demeaning but in one that elicits joy. God has great power over my life, but chooses compassion over retaliation. The compassion doesn’t have to make sense—it is a choice informed by love for those of us making our feeble efforts as ants on a kitchen counter.

Devotio Moderna - Affective Meditation on the Cross

Wow! Today's class was definitely one of the more emotionally testing ones. Today, we learned about Gerard Groote and his influence on Christianity in the 14th century via Devotio Moderna. This man called clergy from being lukewarm to devotion to God about 200 years before Luther sparked the Reformation. In the practice of Affective Meditation of the Cross, we reflect on Jesus Christ as he is nailed on the cross, suffering for our behalf. As we pray we imagine ourselves at the foot of the cross and experience that life changing moment in this prayer. To check out the recording for this class and the accompanying handout click this link: Prayer Through the Ages and look for Lesson 3 - Devotio Moderna.

Prayer Through the Ages - Jesus Prayer

Today, the series focused on the Jesus Prayer. It has its origins from two gospel accounts and was first documented to be used in the fourth century. Today, it is predominately practiced Eastern Orthodox churches, though some Roman Catholic churches practice it as well. With a prayer in waves of saying variations of the phrase, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner", we engage in an understanding that we are in the need of a God who loves us and desires for us to be better as we strive to be more like our Creator. We discuss practical considerations of the prayer and discuss what it was like to pray the prayer. Click the following link for a recording of today's class and today's handout: Prayer through the Ages.

Thanks! I'd love to hear your comments below.

Prayer Through the Ages - Lectio Divina

Last Wednesday, August 10 was my first class in a series entitled "Prayer through the Ages". In this series, we take a close look some of the ancient prayer practices of Christianity, study its history, learn how to practice the prayer form, pray the practice together, and discuss it. This week covered the Benedictine practice of Lectio Divina (holy reading). This practice incorporates moments of silence in prayer with one passage of scripture read three times in waves of silence, with each wave with a particular focus. Personally, I've found this prayer practice to be enriching in my faith and my relationship with God. I hope this practice can be of use to you as well.

For a recording of the class and the accompanying handout, check out the following link: Prayer through the Ages. This link will take you to my Google Docs page that hosts the files that are available to either view online or to download. The class was recorded at Full Gospel Church in Livingston, NJ. A special thank you goes to Dr. Lyle Paul Jensen of Fuller Theological Seminary for teaching the course that this class was modeled after. His book Subversive Spirituality: Transforming Mission through the Collapse of Space and Time has some excellent material on ancient prayer practices from Judaism to the early Church to the present-day Church and how our perceptions of time and culture have informed prayer practices.

Please let me know your thoughts or if you use any of the materials. I'd be glad to hear from you!

At the King's Table

Hi all!

It's been about a year since I've posted anything on my blog, so I'm sorry about that! I've spent the last year in Pasadena, CA at Fuller Theological Seminary. After completing my first year of six in Fuller's Ph.D. of Clinical Psychology program, I have to say it feels pretty good!

But onto the point: if you were unable to attend Full Gospel Church this Sunday, my sermon is available for your listening on www.livingstonfullgospel.com. Click the "Sermons" tab on the left and look for the mp3, playable from the webpage. It is entitled, "Rev. Kevin R. Kurian - At the King's Table". It was such a pleasure to deliver and I pray that it is a blessing to you.

The sermon is about the crippled grandson of King Saul in the presence of the new king, King David. The text for the sermon comes from 2 Samuel 9. What we see in this narrative is the graciousness of a king taking a person who some called a "dead dog" and instead called him "son". While David is long gone, we still have a chance for those of us who see ourselves as nothing and be restored by the work of another gracious king - Jesus.

This sermon will be posted on the Full Gospel webpage. Once it is removed from the webpage, I will put a link of my own on this blog so that you can listen to it. Also, be on the lookout for my Summer class that will be made available online! I will be teaching a class entitled "Prayer through the Ages". Through this class, I will be going through a historical survey of prayer practices in Christianity, following the saints of the faith. We will discuss the history of one practice, pray the practice together, and discuss it. About halfway through, there will be a musical worship service that will not be recorded and then the class will resume. Likely, this class will conclude with a survey of prayer practices in Judaism and Islam. As a worship researcher at Fuller, a pastor, more importantly a child of God, prayer and worship is extremely important to me. I hope this upcoming summer class can be a time of refreshment and connection with God.

And with that, enjoy this Sunday's message on www.livingstonfullgospel.com! I'd love to hear your comments.

The Life of King Hezekiah, Lesson 4

For the past month, we've explored the life of King Hezekiah as he called on God during an impending invasion of the Assyrian Empire. God defended his city, for the sake of his name, which was challenged by the Assyrian King Sennacherib. If you've been a part of the class or know the story, you'll remember how miraculously God saved Jerusalem.

In this last lesson, we study the last recorded events of Hezekiah's life. Sadly, his end isn't as wonderful as earlier stories of his life. Pride got a hold of Hezekiah, and his descendents paid for it. When envoys from Babylon came to see what God had done, Hezekiah showed off his own wealth instead. Isaiah prophesied that Babylon would take Jerusalem, generations after Hezekiah. The last words of this man recorded in the Bible give me chills, "The word of the Lord you have spoken is good. Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?" (2 Kings 20:19, NIV)

This last lesson also BRIEFLY covers what occurs after Hezekiah's lifetime and how peace and security were not present for most of his descendents. But luckily for us, Jesus Christ redeems this story as a descendent of King Hezekiah. While Hezekiah's faithfulness in his life truly is a marvel of the Bible, his wavering moments might appear as a mirror for us in our lives. Let's look at Hezekiah's life for its awe-inspiring moments and its warnings. God blessed Hezekiah's life, but also gave him challenges. But just as God was with him, God is with us.


*Note: There are no maps or images for this lesson. The recap comes from the Lesson 3 Maps PowerPoint.